12.15.2006

I've killed someone.

I understand that what I did was out of survival. It just doesn't set right with me now. I'm awake, unable to sleep. I can't get that picture out of my head.

Poor Emery. I can't help but think that he really didn't know what he was doing. What can one do when becoming something that they have always believed never to exist?

Arius is messed up pretty bad. Emery threw him through a wall. Well, the Lougarou version of Emery. He's got 3 broken ribs and a broken arm, not to mention a lot of bruises. He told me that it is going to keep him bed ridden for a few weeks. Tomorrow, Father Weston is going to name the next person to take over while Father Enoch is sick. I wonder who it will be? Probably Nicolai. He's got really great leadership skills, and he's experienced in health. He doesn't care too much for technology though. I wonder how that's going to work out.

I hope the Sons of Loki get what's coming to them. I'd like to see them burn if they're responsible for what's happened to Gatewood. It's not fair. It's not like I can just leave here any given time and start life all over again somewhere else. I wonder if people outside do that. I sure would. I hear people talk of a place called The Cari-bien. It sounds so nice. Lots of water, sand, silence. I have seen pictures of it here on the web. The sky looks as if it was painted by the Great One himself. I can see that he put much love into that place. I wish he had put love into this one.